I never posted these photos (taken in August 2011) so I thought I would today and write about my road to become a BYU graduate. No one knows the full story besides my family because it is quite personal and I still don't think everyone will understand but I thought I share. It's a novel.
Fall of 2006 I was a senior at Dixie High. I had the best senior year and it was only going to get better, however I knew it would end and college would be on the horizon. I knew where I wanted to apply to since birth. My grandma, my parents, and both my older brothers were honored to state they were/are BYU students and I knew I wanted that same title, to be a BYU student. There was no other choice.
December came along and I got started on my application so that it was submitted on the first day they were accepting applications. I believe it was sent out the middle of the month and could not wait to hear.
Now, things at high school started picking up and many of my friends talked about how they submitted there application to BYU and also to other schools. Seriously? other school??? I didn't even think of a second choice... I was going to BYU!
I would check BYU's student directory everyday looking to see if my name was there(it was a trick you could do back then to find out you got in before you received the letter) and my name never came up.
Christmas came and went, no word.
School year started back up and a few of my friends had heard back from BYU and they got in! Now at the time I was really happy for them because that just meant we'd be there together!(hopefully because doubt started entering my mind)
It was a Saturday and my littlest sister, Bethany, was getting baptized. My extended family was in town. After the "luncheon" I relaxed on my parent's couch in their bedroom(away from the crowd) and turned on the T.V. Bethany then came in and announced that I had received a letter from BYU! (she even understood that I had been waiting for it)
Instantly my eyes were swimming in tears, I knew it wasn't good and didn't even open the letter for an hour. That day I can't really describe. I was in depths of despair and never cried so hard in my life. I never left my parents bedroom until later than night. I felt dumb, anger, embarrassed, guilt, and feelings of depression that I thought I would never overcome.
BYU was my dream... and it was going to stay that way .
Now as I said before, not everyone will understand my sorrow, except a dear friend of mine who received the same devastating letter. We are both BYU college grads now ;)
Going to school that next Monday was dreadful because I was asked if I had heard. I told them and everyone was sincerely sorry but would quickly remind me that BYU isn't that great anyway. Not what I wanted to hear. They were going to BYU and they didn't even think it was great! I even had one friend tell me that she was even considering not going there and going to the UofU!!!! I only cried once in front of a friend and saved the rest of my tears for my pillow at night. I then had some friends tell me they were only going there because their parents won't pay for any other school, or others who weren't living the honor code and didn't intend on changing once they got to BYU.
It sucked and I wanted nothing more for BYU to say they made a mistake and want me!
They never came calling, so I started growing bitter and wanted nothing to do with BYU.
I applied to UVU.
My freshman year at UVU I met my husband, a BYU student. Now I automatically assumed I wouldn't marry a BYU student because I wasn't good enough for them(so dumb, I know!). But I was what Gary wanted, not a BYU student.
I hated UVU and I will not go into detail but I hated everything about it. This was not my dream!
I continued to go my sophomore year regardless of the fact I hated going because I also dreamed of being a college graduate regardless. However, my hate for the school was becoming more strong and I wanted to be with my husband, my brothers, and now my younger sister. I was starting to accept that applying to BYU deserved another shot.
In February of 2009 I started the application process for BYU as a transferring student. I had heard it was a lot easier to get in as a transfer student so I had high hopes. I knew that if I didn't get in that I would give up on my college degree because I refused to go back to UVU. I kept all of this a secret and only Gary and my parents knew and they were sworn to secrecy. If I didn't get in the last thing I wanted was everyone knowing like in high school.
The day came. I had received an email from BYU asking me to click this link to see if I got in.
I was on our bed with Gary.
I didn't get in for Fall 2009.
The same emotions I had the first time came over me.
Gary held me and brought me tissue after tissue.
I texted my Mom, I couldn't bear to talk to anyone.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
The next couple of weeks I cried randomly and tried to endure going to school at UVU.
My mother one day told me that I should apply to be a visiting student at BYU and take fun classes.
It felt right. So I did the next morning.
That same night I received an email from BYU.
It must be the letter letting me know that I can be a visiting student this semester.
I opened it.
"Carly Dawn Allen,
After reviewing your application we have reconsidered and have accepted you for the Spring 2009 semester."
What? I had to read it a couple times.
Finally, I had Gary read it.
I had gotten into BYU.
I called my parents to make sure they it said that on their end too.
I got into BYU!
Oh, if I could describe my feelings I would.
I got into BYU!
I was going to be a BYU student!
I was going to be a BYU graduate!
I was going to have that dream come true.
It did. It all came true.