Friday, April 27, 2012

My BYU Story

I never posted these photos (taken in August 2011) so I thought I would today and write about my road to become a BYU graduate. No one knows the full story besides my family because it is quite personal and I still don't think everyone will understand but I thought I share. It's a novel.

Fall of 2006 I was a senior at Dixie High. I had the best senior year and it was only going to get better, however I knew it would end and college would be on the horizon. I knew where I wanted to apply to since birth. My grandma, my parents, and both my older brothers were honored to state they were/are BYU students and I knew I wanted that same title, to be a BYU student. There was no other choice.
December came along and I got started on my application so that it was submitted on the first day they were accepting applications. I believe it was sent out the middle of the month and could not wait to hear.
Now, things at high school started picking up and many of my friends talked about how they submitted there application to BYU and also to other schools. Seriously? other school??? I didn't even think of a second choice... I was going to BYU!
I would check BYU's student directory everyday looking to see if my name was there(it was a trick you could do back then to find out you got in before you received the letter) and my name never came up.
Christmas came and went, no word. 
School year started back up and a few of my friends had heard back from BYU and they got in! Now at the time I was really happy for them because that just meant we'd be there together!(hopefully because doubt started entering my mind)
It was a Saturday and my littlest sister, Bethany, was getting baptized. My extended family was in town. After the "luncheon" I relaxed on my parent's couch in their bedroom(away from the crowd) and turned on the T.V. Bethany then came in and announced that I had received a letter from BYU! (she even understood that I had been waiting for it)
Instantly my eyes were swimming in tears, I knew it wasn't good and didn't even open the letter for an hour. That day I can't really describe. I was in depths of despair and never cried so hard in my life. I never left my parents bedroom until later than night. I felt dumb, anger, embarrassed, guilt, and feelings of depression that I thought I would never overcome.
BYU was my dream... and it was going to stay that way .

Now as I said before, not everyone will understand my sorrow, except a dear friend of mine who received the same devastating letter. We are both BYU college grads now ;)

Going to school that next Monday was dreadful because I was asked if I had heard. I told them and everyone was sincerely sorry but would quickly remind me that BYU isn't that great anyway. Not what I wanted to hear. They were going to BYU and they didn't even think it was great! I even had one friend tell me that she was even considering not going there and going to the UofU!!!! I only cried once in front of a friend and saved the rest of my tears for my pillow at night. I then had some friends tell me they were only going there because their parents won't pay for any other school, or others who weren't living the honor code and didn't intend on changing once they got to BYU.
It sucked and I wanted nothing more for BYU to say they made a mistake and want me!
They never came calling, so I started growing bitter and wanted nothing to do with BYU.
I applied to UVU.

My freshman year at UVU I met my husband, a BYU student. Now I automatically assumed I wouldn't marry a BYU student because I wasn't good enough for them(so dumb, I know!). But I was what Gary wanted, not a BYU student.

I hated UVU and I will not go into detail but I hated everything about it. This was not my dream!
I continued to go my sophomore year regardless of the fact I hated going because I also dreamed of being a college graduate regardless. However, my hate for the school was becoming more strong and I wanted to be with my husband, my brothers, and now my younger sister. I was starting to accept that applying to BYU deserved another shot.

In February of 2009 I started the application process for BYU as a transferring student. I had heard it was a lot easier to get in as a transfer student so I had high hopes. I knew that if I didn't get in that I would give up on my college degree because I refused to go back to UVU. I kept all of this a secret and only Gary and my parents knew and they were sworn to secrecy. If I didn't get in the last thing I wanted was everyone knowing like in high school.

The day came. I had received an email from BYU asking me to click this link to see if I got in.
I was on our bed with Gary.
I didn't get in for Fall 2009.
The same emotions I had the first time came over me.
Gary held me and brought me tissue after tissue.
I texted my Mom, I couldn't bear to talk to anyone.
I cried myself to sleep that night.

The next couple of weeks I cried randomly and tried to endure going to school at UVU.
My mother one day told me that I should apply to be a visiting student at BYU and take fun classes.
It felt right. So I did the next morning.
That same night I received an email from BYU.
It must be the letter letting me know that I can be a visiting student this semester.
I opened it.
"Carly Dawn Allen,
After reviewing your application we have reconsidered and have accepted you for the Spring 2009 semester."
What? I had to read it a couple times.
Finally, I had Gary read it.
I had gotten into BYU.
I called my parents to make sure they it said that on their end too.
I got into BYU!
Oh, if I could describe my feelings I would.
I got into BYU!
I was going to be a BYU student!
I was going to be a BYU graduate!
I was going to have that dream come true.

It did. It all came true.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


And I am not going to follow the rules and tag others but consider it that I tag everyone who hasn't done one of these in awhile and take it as an opportunity to post something:)

1. If you could go back and relive any day in your life, what would it be?
The day I gave birth to Austin. Not because I want to relive labor, because I don't, but because I could witness a miracle of a child of God being born and feel that again.
2. What's your worst fear?
Losing Gary and Austin.
3. What is the single most important thing to you?
Since it asked for a thing and I will say my wedding ring.
4. What's your most embarrassing moment?
Oh my word I have so many I am sure but can't recall any of them, probably because I erased them from my memory. Oh I remember one but I am sure it isn't the most embarrassing, when I was training to get my driver's license I was in the church parking lot and turned on the car. Well, a bunch of people walked out including the ward boys and my Mom got stuck talking to them. After she was finished she said we could go but I forgot that I had already turned the car on and tried turning it on again. Ever done that in front of tons of people? Don't! It can ruin your car and it makes a horrible/loud noise and I even think it made it stink. Oh I was a traumatized driver, I scared everyone and myself.
5. Who have you learned the most from in your life and what did they teach you?
I was raised by a village of people who taught me everything but of course my parents taught me most in my life and what was important.
6. What is one regret you have?
Figuring out what I wanted to major in before it was too late. I learned a lot going to college(probably too much because I took the most random of classes) and I ended of loving my major in the end but if I did it over again I would choose something different and one day I might go back and do it. But maybe not because being Austin's mother is pretty educating...
7. If you could leave on vacation anywhere you wanted tomorrow, where would you go?
Hawaii! I've always wanted to go and we had a chance last summer to go with our friends but Austin came first, along with my education. Maybe next time friends?
8. Do you believe in soul mates? Why or why not?
Well, the church teaches against soul mates so no I don't believe in them. But I like what my friend Nicole said. I believe that Gary and I were best friends up in Heaven and we decided we'd be the best companions on Earth and we'd make the cutest baby boy, so why not make it eternal!
9. What's your favorite time of day and why?
When Gary comes home from work. He immediately wants to play with Austin so we will sometimes all sit on the couch and just stare at our smiling boy.
10. What's your ideal date with your boyfriend or husband?
Without Austin, oh it is so stressful going on a date with a baby! Gary and I love both going out to eat for dates and just talking so that's what it would be.
11. If you could give young women one piece of advice, what would it be?
Set goals and accomplish you them! Nothing is more rewarding than that, especially if they are in line with what the gospel teaches.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Tuesday Tidbits

1. starts grabbing things! Now the nursing cover has become my worst nightmare because he will grab at it and get mad that he can't see and it turns into quite the struggle between trying not to be too revealing and keeping Austin happy.
2. sometimes purrs like a kitty at night while he is sleeping- his Dad and I sometimes get the giggles because it is so funny
3. he is started to notice his feet, and now he grabs at them... it is only a matter of time until he stuffs his toes in his mouth
4. he is being kicked out of our bedroom as of tonight and will spend his first night in his crib, I am hoping it will cause a miracle of a full night sleep to happen
5. I can only set him down for about 5 minutes before he starts crying, he loves attention... and I love giving it (most times)
6. the kid is wearing 6 month clothes... so SAD! where did this big kid come from?
7. tummy time has turned into flying Dad's and Mom's knees- it brings out such a huge smile from him
Dad wrapped Austin into a burrito

#1 postion he likes to be held in, but you must be standing!


creepy one eye slightly open

going for the monkey!

Monday, April 23, 2012


It is almost 3pm and I still haven't taken a shower today, but don't worry...Austin smells like Johnson & Johnson.
We have no food because I have yet to go shopping, but don't worry... Austin has been fed numerous times today.
I have a sewing project due on Wednesday for a friend and it's only half way done, but don't worry... Austin has only had to endure 10 minutes of it.
I was awoken 3 times last night and I am dreaming of sleep, but don't worry... Austin is a sleep in my arms now.
My kitchen looks like a bomb went off, but don't worry... Austin was not hurt in the process.
I have a book I started last month to read before I rent the movie but it is currently collecting dust, but don't worry... Austin has a clean binky with no particles on it.
Gary and I have no clean clothes to wear, but don't worry... Austin had freshly folded laundry as of this morning.

SO DON'T WORRY! Because Austin is the greatest blessing on the planet, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

off to go take that shower, pray he still stays a sleep long enough to get all my things done, haha, who am I kidding:)

Saturday, April 14, 2012

3 months old

2 months old
3 months old

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Elder Benham

The good looking boy on the right gets home in 10months from today! I am so proud of him! He made it through his first winter in Russia and did not lose any toes. My family calls Provo the "home of the coat", St. George the "home of the jacket" and Tucson the "home of the speedo", so Elder Benham calls Samara, Russia "home of the space suit". And he is so happy that he won't be wearing the space suit for the next couple of months.  It is wonderful having a sibling out serving the Lord!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Tuesday Tidbits

1. Last week Austin and I spent it in St. George with my family. He was smothered with love!
2. He has found his hands! And the kid might be left handed! It is the funnest thing to see him realize that he has hands. He will dangle his left hand in front of his face with a curious look (like what is this thing) and then ram it into his mouth and suck on it. So now we have to be EXTRA careful to only touch his hands when we have EXTRA clean hands.
3. In St. George he slept right next to me in bed most nights. Gary is not very happy with me. But I still think he likes the bouncy chair better so Gary doesn't need to worry about getting replaced:)
4. When he wakes up in the morning he is SO happy! It is hard to be upset that it is 6am when you wake up to that smiling face! I just want to see that smiling face in a few more hours....
5. because he is still not sleeping through the night! I keep wondering what is wrong with me and why he keeps waking up in the middle of the night! Is my boy so BIG that he can't last 3 hours without food.
6. Speaking of BIG, the boy really is big. We went to a med school dinner last night and sat next to a couple with a 3 month old(Austin will be 3 months in 2 weeks) and Austin could have kicked his butt 10x! I swear I don't know where this child came from, but I love him just the same!!!