Dear Little Lennox,
A year has come and I am still wondering where it went. I feel like I gave birth to yesterday and was cuddling with my sweet baby boy. You are still sweet and my baby boy but just a little older.
You fit into our family seamlessly. I was worried about taking two kids on but with your personality and my confidence in myself as a mother it went so well. The first few months were a little hazy with the lack of sleep and teaching your older brother that he wasn't an only child anymore but at the same time I look back at the those months and smile. You were easy and adjusted well to your new surroundings.
I have tried though out the last year learn who "Lennox" is and who he might grow into as he gets older.
First, your smile. Your smile isn't a full on grin but somewhat of a smirk. What makes it extra adorable is the twinkle in your eyes when you do it. You smile as if you know more than I do about life and are kinda laughing at me inside. You only full on grin when we get you laughing but again you are hard to break.
Second, you are shy. Your brother is not shy and never was. This was new to me. If anyone acknowledges you either bury your head into me or cry. I would not go as far and say you are anti-social because you will go off and play but you do not like attention.
Third, since you are kinda shy and I think it has lead to you being a Momma's boy. I love this. I love that you absolutely love me and it makes the hard days worth it when I see you get so excited to see me. You have yet to say "Momma" but there isn't a doubt in my mind who you love and trust the most.
Fourth, when you were born you went with the flow and the like I said before, the transition to being a mother of two kids was a easy. As you have grown you still go with the flow but you are learning more about your agency. You protest a lot and especially when playing with your brother. You have learned how to voice your opinion in not so many words and we are starting to butt heads. It is nice to see that you've got some thoughts of your own and drive. I pray it leads you to taking the path in life that allows you to do good.
Fifth and finally thing I've notice about you is your tender heart. You love so big and it shows with how much happiness your Dad, brother, and I bring to you. The best days for you are when you get to be with all of us. No one can make you smile like your family. No one can also break your heart like your family. You show deep hurt when ever you are offended by one of us and no one likes to see that. Your relationship with your older brother is something I hold very dear. The affection and love you two have is so fun to watch and as you both grow older I pray that you two stay the best of friends. Dada is the first word you said and you get so excited when he comes home from work. You know Dad is always up for some fun.
The weeks I gave birth to you I was getting really worried about how I would love you. I had already been a mother for three years to a boy that I loved with all my heart and I was just stressed I wouldn't be able to show that love to another little boy.
The doctor put you on my belly and I instantly started crying. At that moment I had a spiritual confirmation that my love would be enough. It's funny how the heart works. It's as if it grew another heart in my body that had "Lennox" written on it. I love you Little Lennox and so does your Daddy and brother and I could not imagine not having you in our family forever.
1 month ago